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Dumb Crooks

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Broughton Police Office

There are some really dumb criminals out there and here we record some of the worst or best from around the world!

Hey John – I can't See!?!

Detectives were left in stitches by security camera film of a robbery by two teenagers who forgot to cut eyeholes in their masks. Officers watched in astonishment as the pair repeatedly bumped into one another, demanded money from a shop wall, and failed to notice their newsagent victim dialling 999. Lawyers at York crown court were convulsed in their turn as details emerged of how Thomas Rathbone, 18, and a 17-year-old who cannot be named for legal reasons, crashed into the shop counter. Finally, in frustration, they made the cardinal mistake of pulling off their masks to get their bearings in front of the security camera.

The pair admitted charges of robbery in York . The court heard on Monday that they had succeeded only in stealing three packets of cigarettes. Rathbone, of York , was sent to a young offender's institution for a year, and the other youth was given a year's detention and training order.  A spokesman for North Yorkshire police, who may find the video hard to resist as a Christmas party item, said: "They must have been the dumbest raiders in the world. The video is more of a farce than a hold-up."

Fancy a Lift?

Police in Coram, New York , reported that a man flagged down an unmarked police car and offered two detectives crack cocaine to drive him home. According to police spokesperson Mark Ryan, the detectives were just returning from a drug bust and were wearing blue jackets identifying them as Suffolk County Police in big white letters.

Late Night Robbery Surprise

Mrs. Hollis Sharpe was walking her poodle, one night on a Los Angeles street when she was attacked by a mugger, shoved to the ground, and forced to hand over her purse. No doubt congratulating himself on his easy mugging, the mugger ran off. Unfortunately for the mugger, inside Mrs. Hollis Sharpe's purse was just one item: a plastic bag she had just finished using to scoop up after her poodle.

Think it Through Boys

Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine and their bumper still attached to the chain. Little did they know their vehicle's license plate was still attached to the bumper.

Burglar Caught with his Pants Down

A bungling burglar left behind a memorable account of his hi jinks when his pants fell down as he bent over, revealing his bare posterior to a surveillance camera. The man got away with about $38 in the break-in at the Texas Tavern in Roanoke , Virginia on Wednesday. A tape shows the burglar, wearing a ski mask and socks on his hands, breaking the front glass door with a piece of concrete. He crawled through the broken door and vaulted the front counter.

After a failed attempt to open the cash register, which was empty, he threw it to the ground. He then opened a cabinet behind the bar that had $38 in it.  As he bent to pick up something from the floor, his pants fell. He pulled up his trousers, grabbed the cash and climbed back over the counter, losing a shoe in the process. After retrieving his shoe, the man left through the front door. He returned about 20 minutes later and dislodged the cash box with a piece of concrete. He grabbed the box, which also was empty, and left again. "The guy's obviously dumb as a rock," said Matt Bullington, who owns the downtown restaurant with his father. Police arrived shortly after the burglar's second visit but made no arrests.  

Locked Doors

In Birmingham , Alabama at closing time, a young man rushed into a Sears store and stole a radio. He then turned to sprint back out of the doors; they were now locked. After running full speed into the doors, the man was knocked unconscious. When he was arrested, police had to pick him up off the floor.

Hijacking Pensioner

An elderly American woman spent a leisurely day shopping at the mall. Upon returning to her vehicle, she found four strange males sitting in her car. Frightened, the woman dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun. She told the men that if they did not get out of the car, she would shoot. The four men ran off quickly, whereupon the lady got into the car. Her key, however, would not fit. The woman realised that her car was the identical one parked a few spaces down. She drove to the police department and reported the story. The officer on duty laughed hysterically and pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale men had reported a hijacking by a mean old lady; no charges were filed

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